Blogs by this user:
 Mind games (2)
 The Cell (3)
 Why are humans so cruel? (4)

I peer up as the technician comes into my cell, keeping a fair distance away from me as he's eyeing me. He has food that he wants to give me, and he's careful not to get too close. After all, you know, I could easily kill him with my vectors, if he gets too close.

I ponder that idea. Could I really do it? Would I really sacrifice a human because he was giving me food? How does that make sense at all? I am baffled...

It's all a bunch of mind games. They think I'm dangerous, so they develop a protocol with every intention of protecting themselves from us Diclonius. After all, we're bad, right? You can generalize all you want, but at the core, some of us are very sympathetic.

"Number 11,", he calls as he's handing me my food. My chains prevent me from moving within "killing" range, and I use that term in quotes because I have no interest in killing him. I can remember another Diclonius, number 7, who was very kind hearted. I liked her. I am like her in many ways, sweet and loving.

Who wants to believe that anyway? If you're a human, it's better to assume I'm an aweful cold hearted bitch that is only out to get you. Better to assume that I'm someone that in the end will end up causing you heartache, or kill your family.

As I come close to the food I'm thinking to myself, "This isn't bad food at all!" However, my mind is dwelling on the technician who is inching closer to the door. He's got a cold stare, and he looks pretty scared. He doesn't seem like he's interested in being my friend. This is sad. Utterly pathetic. I don't understand how he could seem so cruel.

They think that just because Kaede was aweful, that we're aweful species. She was sick of the pain, and so were we, but not all of us are like her. They won't even TRY to reason with us, they just resort to fearful tactics to protect themselves from us.

Mind games. Mind games. Mind games.

That's all it really is. Just damn mind games.

Day 2 (My other blog post could be day 1, even though they are so much further apart )

I stare at my chains. The are starting to weigh heavily on me. I don't know what's going on. This whole place around me is so cold. I cannot help but wonder how I'm going to live on much longer.

I look at the technician behind the glass, staring back at me, those eyes couldn't look any colder. I wonder if he's thinking that I should just die. I want to. I really do. I just can't take the pain much longer.

His gaze passes to the papers in front of him. He doesn't seem to care. He seems only like he cares for himself instead. Then I look at my body. It is riddled with experimentation (torture for the most part). This is aggravating beyond comprehension.

Then I stare at a figure just to the right of the technician. He is kindhearted, and his smile fills the space that has been sucked dry by pain. He is calm, and gives me some sort of energy to carry on. He is there to be a peacemaker in times of war. He's caring, unlike the technician who looks at his papers so vigorously, that I feel his emotions have been influenced far more by the papers than they have from me.

I try to endure, and I know I can, because this figure standing by him has made me happy.

They seek us out, and carry pointless experiments on us, looking to find a way to wipe us out if we get too vicious. We are helpless to defend ourselves, because we are kept in vector-proof chains from the day we were born. Helpless and weak in our chains, we watch painfully as we are tortured, as we see it, pointlessly. There is no end to the torture. We cannot see a way out of it. If only we were let into the wild, to roam free, then perhaps we wouldn't care about killing so much as when we are couped up in our rooms.

The pain is unbearable. I can't stand the torture that I am given, day after day. It's supposed to be to the good of mankind. You humans like to assume that Diclonius such as I only care to wipe out the human race, and put a new race on the planet. Most of us would think that way, due to the way we were raised, but some of us retain our feelings for the betterment of mankind, despite what happens to us.

You know Nana? She didn't have one ounce of negative feeling in her brain towards humans. She had a goal, and that goal was to please her "father", Kurama. I am like that, but it's ok to assume that I want to kill every human, isn't it? Isn't it alright to think that we only care for murder?

We are Diclonii. We want out. We can't take the pain. We want out. Humans are weak. You only care for your own domination. You are much worse than we are.

From a Diclonius in need to you vile humans, I made my speech.